To participate in our lives does not mean that we control our lives.
Not to control our lives does not mean that we are passive.
The most healing thing we can do for ourselves is to participate in the process of our lives as fully as we can
- even when the unexpected and the fearful happen. ~unknown

August 30, 2010

Today...Not Yesterday...Not Tomorrow

Live in today. Live for today. Today is all there is. The past is the past. The future hasn't happened. HAHAHA - I've got a bridge and some swamp land for sale.


Yes, I get that it really is all about today. So about today...I was supposed to meet with a different plastic surgeon today. The topic of discussion was to be a revision of the crap work the other one did. Got a call Friday, on my way home from getting a new tattoo, saying they needed to reschedule my appointment. A trauma surgery had been added to her calendar. Damn it.

It's now been 3 months since my last surgery - what I have today is what I'll have in 10 years and that's entirely unacceptable. I'd rather have nothing than this. I think, anyway. I'm tired of the physical pain. My muscles are getting tighter even tho I'm moving my arms and working standard range of motion exercises. I'm tired of looking like a freak.

A month or so ago I asked a friend to forward my pics to a surgeon in her office - kind of a remote 2nd opinion. Now I know pics and seeing things in person are different. She got a reply and sent it on. Sounds like the girls appear symmetrical to them - maybe a little work to remove the loose skin (L side) and I might feel better about them if I move forward with the nipples and stuff. I pray the doc who sees them in person has a different opinion.

From the site of the plastic surgery group at one of the best hostiptals in SD. "Reconstruction will not give you back your breast. Although the reconstructed breast will not have natural sensation, the surgery can give you a result that looks like a breast." Have you seen my pictures? Do YOU think they look like breast? I sure don't - neither do many others. I mean really - come on.

I have an appointment for next Tuesday - 1230pm. Please pray for good news.

My new ink

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