Over the last couple of weeks I didn't think I'd ever have a day, an hour, a minute or second, filled with peaceful acceptance. I think my Ah Ha moment while praying with my pastor was seed. God has his hand all over my breast cancer, my decisions, my future. His first touch was the early detection. I go through this now and it's not life threatening or wait 10 years and die? I'll take the former for sure.
Where to start. Oh! I have confirmation my surgery is scheduled for February 19th. On February 18th I have the pleasure of a breast lymphoscintigraphy. My last appointments with my surgeons are on February 16th. So things are coming together. I even received all my preop instructions from the doc/hospital.
I heard from my dad yesterday. He was calling to confirm my surgery date. Imagine my shock when he said he was planning to be here, with my husband, waiting. Needless to say I'm shocked, thrilled, nervous. My dad and I haven't had the best relationship. In fact, it's been fairly non-existent for too many years. My daddy is coming!
I had the pleasure of speaking with a woman from my church last night. M had a double mastectomy 4 weeks ago. She was a wonder resource and calming presence. She's just about fully back on her feet. Her story is similar in that things moved really fast. From exam to mammo to biopsy was a week or so. She's putting together a care package with reading materials, pouches for my tubes, and pillows for under my arms - not sure what those are all about. Most awesome part - she asked if I would like to have a Prayer Quilt. Oh wow. She asked about my colors and said she'd get one out on Sunday.
Met with my Couch Potato today. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell her so I kinda blurted it out. It caught both of us off guard, She's such an awesome person really and I've come along way with her guidance. I was what I call "in maintenance" until now {we interrupt this update for a commercial announcement - 3-day Race for the Cure registration is now open for 2010). I'll be seeing more of her for a bit. Good news is she thinks I'm doing really well. I'm reaching out for support, seeking out others that can help me. Situational depression is totally normal.
The best part of today was my lunch and shopping expedition. I met a girlfriend and one of her friends at the mall. Within 5 minutes I had a new pair of shoes. Our next stop was Nordstrom and where my fun really started. Girlfriend went for bra measuring and a few new bras. Good for her. It's a great thing to do for yourself. Anyway, I spent that time wandering around the department looking at bras I'll be wearing. You know, the skimpy, sexy kind that sure no other purpose than dressing up the girls. In fact, I won't need bras, over the shoulder boulder holders, or any other functional boobie contraption again. Ever! Bra less and cancer free for life. HAHAHAHA. Another perk - you know those negligees that don't hold your girls in place at all, they sag below what is supposed to be where they belong? I won't be having that problem either. Nope - not at all. Found a beautiful black lace number with a plunge back. Perfect - but not in my size. I really enjoyed shows my friends then bras and nighties I'll be able to enjoy. I think I'll have some jealous friends, even if the road to Forever Perky Girls is a shitty one.
On that note, I'm out. Need sleep and happy dreams. Here's to continue peaceful acceptance, early detection and a cure before our daughters have TaTas of there own.
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